Sometimes I Learn

Sometimes I still have trouble putting a label on my feelings.  Sometimes I don't like being sad so I search inside for something else.  To be honest, sometimes I still search outside.  Sometimes there is nothing but sadness.  And sometimes, just maybe, that is alright.  The little dog and I didn't work out so good.  She was terribly sick.  I had over $200.00 in vet bills in the first two days and the doctor told me if she was still sick tomorrow, she would have to do "very costly" tests.  The next day she was worst. I took the little dog back to the dog pound.

I am sad but, in reality, it is not because I was so attached and "in love" with the dog.  I was "in love" with the plans and dreams I had for us.  First off I didn't want a puppy, too much work.  I wanted a small dog, easy to train and friendly.  I was going to go on walks with her.  We would fish, shop, talk and laugh.  She would be my therapist and I would train her to be a therapy dog.  We would be loved and respected by all.

My head just doesn't work right, we talked about that before.  My friend, Kenneth, said he told his wife he hates their new house.  He hates living on the east side and wishes they lived on the west side.  She told him he wants the to live on the west side because he lives on the east side.  Yes, I understood that comment.  Kenneth, told me that as long as I am not in jail, it is a good day.  And so it is...