Tried and Tired

It has been an exhausting few days since the "great credit card theft".  I am very sure I now know the who and how.  A couple months ago I purchased a spyware program.  After I paid for it, I found that it was in fact a dangerous program itself.  My grandson had a program to completely eradicate  it from my system.  He did that for me.  I fought back and forth with the company to get my credit card credited.  They finally did that.  And I think they have now helped themselves to stuff at my expense.

Trust no one but yourself.  In my case I sometimes cannot even trust me!  I need to be present at my meetings or my head get screwed up.  I just don't think right.  I over-react and spend time spinning my wheels.  Take evasive action?  Yes!  But for gosh sake don't leave the human race!  I tend to want to isolate and monitor my life from behind this keyboard.  That is not good for this kid.  bbl

  

What Goes Around?

I wrote yesterday of my sadness at being defriended on Facebook by my (former) minister.  As fate would have it, I ended the day by deleting a lot of my friends.  I am retired and on disability.  I have nothing of my own and not much income.  What income I have helps pay my medical expenses.  Gratefully my basic needs and some wants are taken care of by a very dear friend.

I went online to pay my bills and bam, numerous charges here and there, that are not mine.  My one credit card was slammed hard.  I use this card for online purchases only out of fear of theft.  However, I bought something locally recently.  I did not feel comfortable giving up my checking account information.  So, I used my online card in that store.  I trusted the salesman in the store but there were numerous people sitting at his desk going through stuff, on the days I was in the store.  In my mind I have narrowed my breach down to that store or one online source.  In reality, it is probably "Bigger then the Beatles", there are bogus telephone numbers associated with the charges.

I will probably never know for sure what, where, why, when, or how.  I do know it sure is a mess.  I am changing passwords, cancelling accounts, and credit cards.  I feel violated.  As a person with huge trust issues to start with, this was a severe blow.  I don't know who or what to trust.  I have deleted people on Facebook I really don't know.  I want to check for a key-logger on my computer but which program is safe and not a spy itself.  And, I am searching for the lesson in it all.  
    

Old Church Old Feelings

The minister from my home church back in Michigan sent me an email.  In part she cited her policy of  "not friending on Facebook people who are former members of my church once they've become members somewhere else."  She ended the email with, "So I am sorry to tell you this but I am defriending you on Facebook."  With a click of a button we were no longer friends.  Like a dutiful child not wanting to make waves I wrote her back, "I do understand and thank you for sending me this note."  Well, I am not fine, I don't understand and I am very hurt.  I feel like a lost little girl looking for Mommies love, once again.
  
First off, I was never an official member of her church.  We had never got our Sundays to line up to make it official.  Secondly, I have not become a member of any other church.  Her church was where my heart was and I am feeling excommunicated.  Even the Catholic church didn't "defriend" me.  I was as generous as I could be with her church, to a fault. I even tithed after our schedule changed and we could no longer attend. Furthermore, I finished our pledge after we moved to Mississippi.  And just maybe that is where friendships and memberships really end... When the tithe ends.

Years ago a ministers wife was trying to recruit me as a member of her husbands church.  I told her that given my background and belief system, I am not welcome in most churches.  She told me this story.  A young man was on the front church steps crying when Jesus approached him, "What is the matter, my son", Jesus asked.  The man told Jesus that he was not welcome in this church.  Jesus responded, "Don't worry son, neither am I!"