Shelter From the Storm

The men are here putting in a below ground tornado shelter.  I was looking online for shelter supplies and I thought of my mom.  When I was younger I lived in Oklahoma.  My brother, Mark and his wife moved in with my family.  He went for a general physical for employment and they found a tumor in his abdomen. My parents came down to see him when he had surgery.  While they were there we had a tornado come through.  We took shelter in the hallway and put a mattress over our heads.  My son said, "Wow Grandpa, that is a big train!"  Yes, it was!

We lost a corner of the roof over our living room.  (We were unaware of the damage until days later when I mowed the backyard.)  After the storm passed there was no power for many hours.  I did not have a flashlight, portable radio, candle or anything even remotely similar.  My dad pulled the radio and battery from their car so we could "stay up to date on the weather".   My mom had a fit with me, "If I lived in the south I would have several flashlights, a radio, extra batteries and a storm shelter, for God sakes, Linda"

So, I am in the south once again.  I am building a shelter and getting the necessary supplies.  I spent a good part of my life waiting for Mom's approval and that never happened.  Through the years, with help of my twelve step programs I am able to find shelter from all of life's storms.  I have quit looking for approval from the outside.  With the help of my Higher Power and the steps, I have learned to find approval from within.  Accepting  my Higher Powers perfection, love and grace everyday, has filled my heart with all the love and all the approval I need, just for today!
        

Old Church Old Feelings

The minister from my home church back in Michigan sent me an email.  In part she cited her policy of  "not friending on Facebook people who are former members of my church once they've become members somewhere else."  She ended the email with, "So I am sorry to tell you this but I am defriending you on Facebook."  With a click of a button we were no longer friends.  Like a dutiful child not wanting to make waves I wrote her back, "I do understand and thank you for sending me this note."  Well, I am not fine, I don't understand and I am very hurt.  I feel like a lost little girl looking for Mommies love, once again.
  
First off, I was never an official member of her church.  We had never got our Sundays to line up to make it official.  Secondly, I have not become a member of any other church.  Her church was where my heart was and I am feeling excommunicated.  Even the Catholic church didn't "defriend" me.  I was as generous as I could be with her church, to a fault. I even tithed after our schedule changed and we could no longer attend. Furthermore, I finished our pledge after we moved to Mississippi.  And just maybe that is where friendships and memberships really end... When the tithe ends.

Years ago a ministers wife was trying to recruit me as a member of her husbands church.  I told her that given my background and belief system, I am not welcome in most churches.  She told me this story.  A young man was on the front church steps crying when Jesus approached him, "What is the matter, my son", Jesus asked.  The man told Jesus that he was not welcome in this church.  Jesus responded, "Don't worry son, neither am I!"

A Day of Rest

My Higher Power a so awesome!  He has given me so many blessings I cry sometimes.  He took the seventh day off and as I strive towards His perfection, so shall I!

Peace, Love and Light!

God and the Woodpecker

November is gratitude month and believe it or not, as of today, I have not sat at one gratitude table.  In Michigan it seemed all we had were gratitude meetings in November!  I hated those meetings.  People said, "I am grateful for my sobriety." I always thought, "Big deal everyone in the room is sober."

I learned the biggest lessons of my life in March of 2009.  First, I need to back up a few months.  I had a beautiful backyard in Michigan with a creek and huge old trees.  In my kitchen was a big sliding glass door and I could sit at my breakfast table and behold nature.  Out in my yard I had a tiny little bird house with a tiny little hole in it.  Every spring these little birds would come and have babies birds and leave at summers end.

In the late fall of 2008 I was watching out my door and along came a red-headed woodpecker.  He started pecking away at the little hole in my little birdhouse.  At first I wanted to shoo him away but I had never seen a woodpecker up close.  So I watched in fascination as he hammered away.  When he left I looked and to my horror the cute little hole was big, ugly and out of shape.  Before I could get up from the table along came these bigger birds.  They made their home there in the birdhouse.  The imperfect house, in my eyes, became a perfect home for those birds!  My gift was a lesson about perfection and God's grace but it doesn't end there.

In March of 2009, the movers came and went and I was wrapping up a bittersweet move from Michigan to Mississippi.  I was cleaning out the last remaining things from the kitchen and I looked out and saw my poor run down birdhouse.  I was wondering if those little birds would live in that house ever again.  All of a sudden a huge storm started.  It got very black and the wind blew very hard.  The river was way above its the banks and the huge trees were water-logged and heavy.

When the storm ended many trees had fallen across my backyard.  Part of my garage roof was torn back and I had minor damage to my house.  My fence had collapsed under the tremendous weight of those huge old trees.  I looked through the limbs and devastation and there, standing proud, was the birdhouse.  What a beautiful gift my HP gave me!  He showed me His grace and His love.  If He cared so much for His birds, I knew I was "worth it".  I also knew everything would be O.K. and for that I am very grateful.