As many of you know, I moved from Michigan to Mississippi about 8 months ago. I was raised in Michigan and spent the majority of my life there. I got sober in Michigan. I went to Al-anon for many years in Michigan. My home group for both programs meets at Bixby Hospital in Adrian, MI. My church is in Michigan and most of my friends live in Michigan. So, when I got the chance to go back to Michigan for a visit it was a "no brainer" for me. As I drove the miles between Mississippi and Michigan I felt great excitement. I was on my way home.My mom told me many years ago one can never go back home. I had not been gone that long, or had I? I was blessed to have the opportunity to go to my church and my home group meeting. My meeting was over early so I went down the hall to Al-anon. I felt comfortable in my church. A new couple I didn't know came over and sat with me. Both of my meetings at Bixby Hospital felt comfortable but something was missing. Maybe my ego thought people would fall down at my feet.
On my way back to Mississippi I really felt like I was on my way "back home". I drove all the way back to Mississippi as fast as I could. I drove into the night, way past my normal bedtime. Skipping breaks and eating fast food fast. I wanted to be back home. I wanted to get to bed and get up on time for my home group meeting in Tupelo. I made it! And you know what? People didn't fall to their feet but I did! I was so happy to get home to my home group meeting. The guys were all there that have become very special to me.
I have struggled with my sobriety for many years. I know now that the move to Mississippi was a gift from my Higher Power. The move has renewed and refreshed my sobriety. After I went back out the second time I felt so bad about myself and I felt everyone in the state of Michigan was judging me. It seemed to me my sobriety was always in jeopardy. The people at my home group here in Mississippi know about my past. The difference is I have never let them down and I hope I never do. I feel new, welcome and very special here. I feel at home.
Just remember home is where the heart is,
ReplyDeleteand that includes all of us on our own recovery journeys,Linn.Nobody can make us feel like we're being judged,but ourselves.
SO give yourself a pat on the back for this kind of progess when you write"I feel at home"
Thanks for sharing.
I have always had a love/hate relationship with the word and idea of "home." Maybe because I've moved so much in my life? At any rate, I think home might more be where I create it, than existing in any other plane. :)
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