I haven't covered up my "greenness" in nearly forty years! I have always had a sense about me. I didn't flaunt my "greenness". I certainly didn't go where "green" people are not welcome. Until I moved to the south... Greens are not welcome here under any circumstance, anywhere. Not in church, not at AA, not at Al-Anon and not even outside of their house.
When these southerners asked me how I got here, I lied. I lied about who I am, my core being. I started to hate who I was and how I live. I endured jokes about green, black and brown people. I laughed along trying to fit in. But then it happened. Some of the men started asking me out on dates. I was confused. I couldn't even figure out how to respond. I haven't been asked out on a date in over twenty years. So I lied again and my lies didn't add up. Lies never do add up, you know.
Now I feel unwelcome everywhere. One person told me not to let these people run me off but she is young and from the north. I fought my way in the door in the 1980's, I haven't the energy to do that again. I am very afraid for the first time in many years. I am even having an alarm installed on my house. What I want to know and understand is... If you are so much better then me, why do I scare you so much? I am just an old girl with children, grandchildren and dreams of my own, a child of God. I don't want to hurt you, why do you want to hurt me?
