It Ain't Easy Being Green...

I haven't covered up my "greenness" in nearly forty years!  I have always had a sense about me.  I didn't flaunt my "greenness".  I certainly didn't go where "green" people are not welcome.  Until I moved to the south... Greens are not welcome here under any circumstance, anywhere.  Not in church, not at AA, not at Al-Anon and not even outside of their house.

When these southerners asked me how I got here, I lied.  I lied about who I am, my core being.  I started to hate who I was and how I live.  I endured jokes about green, black and brown people.  I laughed along trying to fit in.  But then it happened. Some of the men started asking me out on dates.  I was confused.  I couldn't even figure out how to respond.  I haven't been asked out on a date in over twenty years.  So I lied again and my lies didn't add up.  Lies never do add up, you know.

Now I feel unwelcome everywhere.  One person told me not to let these people run me off but she is young and from the north.  I fought my way in the door in the 1980's, I haven't the energy to do that again.  I am very afraid for the first time in many years.  I am even having an alarm installed on my house.  What I want to know and understand is... If you are so much better then me, why do I scare you so much?  I am just an old girl with children, grandchildren and dreams of my own, a child of God.  I don't want to hurt you, why do you want to hurt me?