Some days I still feel like a square peg in a round hole. I wished things were different but I cannot change some of the things about me. This isn't your business, so leave me alone. No, please don't leave me alone. My head is such a mess. Yet people praise me and thank me and want to hear my story. I got nothing to give you. I am all used up. I'm tired.
Pity pot? Maybe but I am different from you. When people find out who I really am, they run away. I have seen it happen time and time again. You want to know why I don't get close to anyone? It is because I am scared of pain and rejection. Most reject me because of who I am. Some reject me because people tease them for being my friend. It is the truth in my world. It is my reality. I am getting too old to play these junior high school games.
So, I sit here alone. People ask me to lunch, dinner, meetings where ever but I always smile and say, no thanks not today. Because I know we would get close. Then you would find out about me and leave. I am one of God's kids, too you know. And I do have feelings. One of my nieces' has on her profile, "I yam what I yam." Hell yeah, so am I.